Life gets tuff. That is an eternal truth. It is a hard, cruel and grueling world out there. Where-ever life takes us, it always seems to go wrong. I don’t want you to think that I am complaining, quite the contrary, I am happy about that. It isn’t easy out in the big world, but there is hope and I want to tell you why.
I have always wanted to write. I have for almost my entire life tried to write stories, books, articles, even poems. I never did anything with them. (Except when I was super awkward and read them to girls that I wanted to date in high school…. moving on) The fact of the matter, wasn’t that I couldn’t write, it was that I didn’t have the motivation or inspiration. It has been hard to get to this point, a point where I feel comfortable enough to write these articles, few they may be, and let the world know who I am, what I do, and what I am about. It was not an easy task, but I did it. Now this isn’t about my writing, no, it is about something so much bigger than that. Something that since the dawn of time has been a hindrance, and a thorn in the side of mankind. There are a few things that I feel, are the reason that we are held back in our lives, whether that be from a big promotion at work, trying out for a sports team, trying that new recipe and so much more. We all have that something that we hold ourselves back from, no matter how confident we may be. Here are a few things that I have learned, coming from someone who has suffered from self-confidence issues his entire life.
Fear of Rejection: One of the biggest things that has held me back from reaching my very best, or to even try that something new is my fear of rejection. This is something that I feel is more prevalent than people are letting on. It is a very simple fear, and yet it makes a huge difference in so many lives. A lot of the time as the human race, we tend to care too much about what other people think of us. “Well what do you think?” we ask other people. “Do you think that they like me?” somebody may ask. There are so many different ways we can fear rejection, whether we are looking to pitch the next big business idea at work, but don’t want to look stupid in front of your boss and co-workers, or your looking to take up a musical instrument and write music, but you never have because you don’t think anyone will like what you write, then there are those who want to ask someone out on a date, ( and no matter what anyone may say THIS IS SUPER SCARY, and very nerve racking) they are afraid that that person is going to say no. These are all valid points. It is scary and that fear is very real. Let. It. Go. I don’t mean that in a rude way, I just mean literally look inside yourself and let it go. You are so much better than you think you are. This won’t happen in a days time though, to overcome this particular beast of an issue you need to practice at it. Just like a bicycle or learning a sport or instrument, it takes time and the more you practice at it the better and more confident you will become. Find someone you trust, and let them in. They want to help you, I can promise you that, and if you will trust them, they will trust and help you get to the place where you want to be and not just be there but to excel there.
Hater Gonna Hate: No matter what your idea or goal may be, there will always be troves of people to let you down, and to tell you it won’t work. It only takes one person to believe in you for you to succeed. If you have at least someone who is willing to take your side, to go to bat for, I can guarantee your path will not be as hard or lonely from the moment you join forces. Don’t listen to the ones who hate your ideas, listen to the ones who love them. When you look at the most popular music today, (this may differ for everyone, but I am talking the most successful and popular according to rankings on popular music sites) as of today most of the record breaking hits out are Rap and Hip-hop. Does everyone love Rap and Hip-hop? No. Not at all. Even though they are popular and seem successful, they went through the same struggles you and I went through and are going through. Always remember the only way something can truly fail, is if you don’t fully believe in it yourself. Which leads to the next and final tip.
You Are Your Own Biggest Critic: You will be your biggest enemy, until you decided to be your biggest ally. For most of my life I have put myself down, and told myself that I would never be good enough. Some days I still feel that way, but the more that I do the things that make me the happiest, the more I realize that it doesn’t matter what I think, as long as I do the things that I want to do, as long as it is meant to be, it works. I am not the worlds greatest writer but I hope to be. I am working at it day after day, month after month, and it is a challenge but I assure you that I am working on it, and by gosh, I have loved every minute of it. I keep telling myself that I can do it. Whenever I get down on myself for not being good enough, I think of a children’s story about the little engine that could. ( I know, I know, it’s super cheesy, but I love it it anyway!) The little engine was pulling a large train behind him as he hit a mountain, it was a struggle for him to get up the mountain but as he started the ascent, he kept chanting to himself, “I think I can, I think can, I think I can.” I would tell myself something similar. For you this can be the change that you need. Stop being your biggest enemy and start working for the good guys, start working for yourself.
That is it. There is so much more that you can do, but this can be a great start in the right direction. You never know until you try. So try, if you fail, try again, nothing good has ever been done, without some kind of failure being involved. Believe in yourself and get out there and do something better. Just know that it all works out in the end, and you will succeed as long as you keep on trying, and trying, and eventually one day, you will do what you’ve always wanted to do.
Belief and hope to all,
Trevor Montana McMurtrey